Returning to College

After two years working as an early childhood teacher and witnessing horrible child abuse, teachers disrespected, and parents who receive no assistance – I went back to school to get my bachelor’s degree in sport management.

                                             

Here are 10 things I have learned returning to college after the age of 35.

1.      Help is available and you must ask for it. Teachers and mentors are not mind-readers. If you do not get the assistance you are seeking, ask others.

2.      The only person I must be better than today, is who I was yesterday. Competition can build you up or take you down. The best comparison is you.  

3.      It is what you know and who you know that can help your career. Who you know to contact and what you know to perform the tasks at the job.

4.      Students come to class and some don’t. Some participate, and some don’t. Some are late, and some are early. Go to class, participate and be early, not on time.

5.      Bad things happen to good people. I’ve seen people lose loved ones, be physically hurt, mentally break down from stress and the daily grind.

6.      The working world is a constant battle and never-ending competition, be ready.

7.      Thank those who help you and respect those who don’t. Thank those people who teach, tutor, and mold you for the better. Those who say you “cannot” do something are challenging you. I have grown both as a student and professional proving them wrong. (Usually they are jealous and really don’t care anyways). It shows yourself what you are truly capable of achieving. You’ll be amazed.

8.      Time management is essential – in life. Know when to study, work, eat, sleep, relax, workout, and even to spend time with family and friends. Life will throw you curve balls, an example would be technology. If you wait to do that assignment and your laptop dies or the internet goes down – you have placed yourself in dangerous waters without a life raft.

9.      Your education is an investment, invest wisely.

10.  Network with everyone you can. Job shadow. Go to events. Learn from professionals. Ask questions. Intern. Volunteer.  Keep track of who you have talked to, what about and when.

What's Forever For

People fall in love and then get married; the honeymoon seems to last longer than the marriage. Sometime the wedding last longer.

What’s forever for and why even get married or even be in a relationship at all?

https://youtu.be/6-3PcI720mQ

Certainly, people do not just get married and think, in 10 year and two months I will get a divorce.

Here are 10 reasons why:

1. Getting in for the wrong reasons.

Marrying for money -- we've all heard that that is a ticket to a quick divorce, but what about when you marry because it's what you think you should do?

I've met many divorced women who say the problems that made them leave were there right from the beginning but "everyone expected us to live happily ever after" or "we had already spent so much money on the wedding" or "we had just built our dream home." So, remember, until you say, "I do," you always have the choice to say "I don't!"

2. Lack of individual identity.

A codependent relationship is not healthy. When you don't have your own interests or the opportunity to express yourself outside of coupledom, you become "couple dumb."

If you are not comfortable doing things without your partner, or you don't know what kind of music, movies, or food you used to like, you are likely in deep and you probably feel like you are drowning and don't know why.

3. Becoming lost in the roles.

Just as many couples "forget" their single friends and single ways when they get married, when you add children into the mix, most parents soon neglect or completely forget that they are a couple.

As children grow and need less attention, many husbands and wives find that they have grown apart and they can't remember why they ever got married in the first place because they no longer have anything in common.

4. Not having a shared vision of success.

"Everything changed when we got married!" He drives you crazy because you're a saver and he's a spender. Your idea of a weekend getaway is a cozy cottage in the woods; your partner wants to the hit the town and catch a game. He thinks it's your job to cook and clean, but you disagree.

Why didn't he mention these things before? Maybe you should have asked. Chances are that he hasn't changed -- your expectations did. Is it possible to survive major differences in philosophy? It is possible, but many do not.

5. The intimacy disappears.

Somewhere in a marriage there is a subtle change in the intimacy department. One person has an off day, there is a misunderstanding, or someone doesn't feel well. Then there's the idea that he isn't as romantic, or she isn't as sexual.

Whoever is the one with the subtle change can trigger a downward spiral in the intimacy department. Men generally need sexual receptivity to feel romantic and women generally need romance to be sexual receptive. If both people are getting what they need, they willingly provide what the other person wants. However, when there is a lessening on either's part, that can trigger a pulling back in the other. If gone unnoticed and unchecked, before the couple realizes, they are seriously intimately estranged and wonder what happened. This can lead to divorce as couples begin to feel unloved and unappreciated.

6. Unmet expectations.

Somewhere written into a human's genetic code lie the instruction that when a person isn't happy, he or she is supposed to force his/her significant to make the changes required to make the unhappy person happy again. This usually takes the form of complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging, threatening, punishing and/or bribing.

When one or both people in the marriage are attempting to coerce each other into doing things they don't want to do for their partner's happiness, it is a recipe for disaster. When you are unhappy in a relationship, it's okay to ask for the change you want. But, if your partner doesn't oblige you, then you become responsible for your own happiness.

7. Finances.

It's not usually the lack of finances that causes the divorce, but the lack of compatibility in the financial arena.

Opposites can attract but when two people are opposites in the financial department, divorce often ensues. Imagine the conflict if one is a saver and one is a spender. One is focused on the future while the other believes in living for today. One has no problem buying on credit, while the other believes in saving up for what one wants.

Over time, this conflict can reach such heights that divorce seems to be the only logical conclusion.

8. Being out of touch... literally.

I'm talking about physical contact. Of course, sex is great, but you also need to supplement it with little hello and goodbye kisses, impromptu hugs and simply holding hands. Couples who don't maintain an intimate connection through both sexual and non-sexual actions are destined to become virtual strangers.

9. Different priorities and interests.

Having shared interests and exploring them together is essential for a successful marriage. Of course, having "me time" is important as well, but unless you can find common passions and look for ways to experience them together, you'll inevitably grow farther and farther apart.

10. Inability to resolve conflicts. 
Every couple has disagreements. The key is to develop ground rules so that each partner feels respected and heard. Sometimes it takes a third party "referee" to help define those rules and teach us to move through the charged emotions, so resentments don't linger.

Sport Management Night

Last week I attended a Columbus Blue Jackets Sport Management night in Columbus, Ohio.

The night was not what I had anticipated.

The night, for $30, included a Blue Jackets seat to the game, a tour and panel Q and A before the game with five current employees and food.

I was not expecting a buffet, but a bag of popcorn and a water or a soda was a little less than I thought. There were about 100 student’s there- from all colleges in Ohio. I was the only one form Ohio Northern, sadly. The tour was not what I had expected. I have been on The Columbus Blue Jackets tours before and I have seen the extravagant locker rooms and their weight rooms and more. This tour was a walk to the ice and twice to the seats to two different views in the arena. I have already interned with a hockey team (see previous blog) and so I have been to the ice and even on the ice. Knowing I have experience and they are new to sport management and even to hockey, I get it. They are just learning and some fundamentals of hockey I already have down.

The panel was supposed to be five, but one was asking questions with the microphone and walking around, so there was four. One was from management, one from sales, one from marketing and finally one from social media. The one asking the questions was The Columbus Blue Jackets announcer, fitting that he should ask questions and walk around with the microphone.

One young lady asked the question that was on my mind – Out of the four male professionals and since sport management is so male dominant – How do women get in? I have posed this question before and was interested in what there answer was, perhaps this was a key that I could use to get into my career in hockey. Nope, he answered with women can do anything men can do, so if you want to work in management, then do it. If you want to work in sales, then do it. They did mention that women fair better in the sales department over men, but that was it.

The game was sad while I was there for the first period, Columbus was losing 2-0 and I left after the first period. I had an over two hour drive home. Columbus did win the game. I learned some new insights on marking and media relations and I will put those to use in the future.

Hockey

My ideal career would be to work in the communications and media department with The Columbus Blue Jackets in Columbus, Ohio. They are The National Hockey Team in Ohio.  

I have reached out and worked with faculty on campus and I am still coming up short. It is said it is not what you know, but who you know to step into the career you have worked and studied for all those years.

My first internship was with a hockey team and I treasure every moment. I knew nothing about hockey when I went in and my job entailed all tasks, except for skating on the ice with the players. I worked with fans in our little shop, I helped with chuck-a-puck, the 50/50 raffle, parking passes and tickets for fans and everything else under the sun. I also took photos to document my path for my presentation to show what I had learned.

Sadly, only 30% of graduates land their dream job of where they want to be. 

I have changed my major and what I wanted to do with my life, I did not always want to work with hockey, let alone have a career in sports.  

I am so focused on where I am now and where I want to be, the ultimate goal. Realistically, I know there will be challenges and I will have to work my way up. I have no problem with hard work and challenges. Each day is exciting when you do not fully know what will happen in the world of sports.  

Furry Family Members

As the holidays are fast approaching, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s, we greet family with open arms. 

Family includes the furry family members in our lives as well.

Princess, Fido and all furry pets in-between need to be happy and healthy, so that means no sneaking turkey samples under the table or that fruit cake that no one looks forward to.

While the holidays can be dangerous and stressful for humans, it can be more so to our pets. Some foods are poisonous to pets and even dangerous, like turkey bones Princess and Fido cannot digest.

Here are some tips:

Keep food on the table – and not elsewhere.  Treat your pets with a homemade appropriate treat or buy one at the store. Do not feed them turkey, raisins, onions, or grapes.

Desserts are out. While cakes and pies are sweet treats for humans, they are not for our furry family members. The artificial sweetener xylitol can be deadly if consumed by dogs or cats.

Keep trash out of reach. Trash holds bones and unwanted, unfinished food, decorations and more. Make sure it is out of reach of children and pets.

Plants. While they add beauty to the festive season, they are poisonous to pets. Amaryllis, Baby’s Breath, Sweet William, some ferns and even hydrangeas are all toxic to our pets.

Call the hotline.  If you believe your pet has been poisoned, call your vet. The ASPCA Poison Control Hotline is 888-426-4435. Pet distress looks like: changes in behavior, depression, pain, vomiting or diarrhea.

Visitors.  Humans are nervous enough when family and friends drop by (some of us only see family once or twice a year anyways) or visit for the end of the year celebrations. Humans are stressed out and that can pass onto your pets. Just imagine how your pets feel, if as a human you are stressed or shy around many people. Place them in a room with their favorite toys and a crate or a place they feel safe to hid in to protect themselves. If you have exotic pets – some people are uncomfortable around them as well. Watch as doors are opened and closed, as one of your furry pets may make a break for it. They could run out into the road, over to a neighbor’s or get into mischief that could be dangerous or deadly. Make sure your pets have ID tags or are micro chipped, so if they slip out and get away, you can have many on the look-out for them if found.

Travel. If you travel in the state or out of it make sure your pet has a health certificate from your vet. States have different requirements. Never leave your pets alone in any vehicle. Make sure they are in a carrier or harness and away from car airbags. Pack for yourself and your pet. Board your dog is that is a option, but check with your vet.

Decorations. They are beautiful on the tree or mantel and yet, they look like fun to our pets. Batting that ornament or chewing on that wire or cord is serious. Burn risks, shock, and even chances of starting a fire are what can happen when our pets think these items are toys. Small items are a risk too, like buttons, beads, batteries, ornament hooks, tinsel, and small toys.

Keep everyone safe and have a happy holiday season!

Watch For Deer

My greatest fear is hitting a deer. Especially now, with my new car.

Many deer have crossed in front of me, both in groups and solo, but thankfully they have been far enough down the road that I could slow down or if they were close, they turned around after being scared to come too close to my car. There was one that got really close to my car and I was so shocked by the time I laid on my car horn, the deer was gone from in front of me. This is the first year I have had a car, instead of a truck.

Having a bigger vehicle gives us the feeling that we are safer, which is not true. And I know that. It is so different, and I am on the lookout for deer all the time.  

They travel in groups. They are nocturnal. They cross country roads, high-ways and even back yards. As we build more houses and buildings, they have less and less area to live and be protected from predators.

What happens if you are driving and a deer comes at you?

Swerving is a bad idea. It is better to stay in your lane and slow down. Swerving only leads to more complications; hitting another vehicle, going into a ditch, or even flipping your vehicle.

If you do hit a deer or see an injured one, call the police. Never approach an animal. They are wild. They are scared. They might be injured. Thy may attack you. Don’t take a selfie with it.  

Check with your insurance company if you are covered if you hit a deer.   

Don’t be like this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBIrswuyIRc

Depression

I am in a psychology class this semester and I am learning more about depression. It is more common than most think and the older you get, the more it can fester and grow.

Signs and symptoms include:

·         Withdraw

·         Tiredness

·         Loss of appetite

·         Feeling empty, sad, hopelessness, or guilty.

·         Loss of concentrating

·         Stomach pain, headaches and types of chronic pain

Why are you depressed?

There are many reasons, but not one reason that can be pinpointed to.  Here, I am talking about depression without a reason. If you are going through a divorce or the loss of a parent, you may go through depression, but that depression is different.

Depression is treatable and don’t let anyone call you crazy or weird. Many people suffer from it. The sooner you can get help and work toward finding a solution to HELP you feel better. It will not be quick or a total solution, but it is helpful to go in the right direction. Talk to friends, family or your family doctor. Talk to someone you trust, like a religious leader. There are treatments with and without medications.  

Get help.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. 

They also have an online chat. 

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

Here are other helpful links:

https://www.psychguides.com/guides/depression-hotline/

http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/depression/can-a-depression-chat-room-be-helpful/